That song erf, or how I really had to show what I was | specialagentscully's Blog

What was i? I was in my early twenties, actually mostly what I am now, but so less capable to protect myself, and I hid a lot already, but I didn't control things (emotions, yeah I said it), like I do now. And the first time I heard that song, it was on the radio, my (ex) partner was driving, and actually everything was cool until that; We were cool people. There were some arguments, but nothing that went like blowing up the place. I just listened to it, the music made me feel "strange", and the lyrics (I don't think I would feel so emotional now about it, but maybe it's because I know it now), well it made me itchy, little by little, until I just broke down; My patner wasn't very talkative then, we were just enjoying a quiet time while a long road, and I felt like disturbing that, and ashamed, although we knew each others' well. I knew he watched me. But I just couldn't stop crying. So he pulled over (when he could, I think), he hugged me, long enough, what I needed at least, and then we talked. I can't do that anymore. It's such a bad thing. And I still remember that. Yeah, i said it already, I have an eidetic memory. But it can be painful as it can be good, to move on. Depends on what you're living on the moment. Maybe you won't like that song, when I listen to it now, I feel it was such an overreaction. But maybe not. Considerng what I was living. It, is, difficult, to tame your own emotions. Still today.