I need more sleep, and more emotions out | specialagentscully's Blog

Although I slept 14 hours. I woke up some hours ago only, and I feel like going back to bed. I've ignored my sleeping habits, and needs for too long. And bottling up is exhausting too. But it's also what I am. I don't know.

I just finished reading a long story on the gossamer. A six parts story. A horrible one. Not a bad writer, and even though at first it looks improbable, it is. People use others, like that, everyday. It's when it comes to risking one's life (or more knowing they sacrifice HER here), for nothing or nearly, without beng even capable of providing a good cover, back-up, or even not willing to give one, that makes me mad. I'm pretty shaken by it. I wouldn't if not so tired. But maybe it's a good thing. That made me think about the episode Milagro too. I liked the end. Even though I still have doubts believing in it. We are destroyers. It always pass by us. There are exceptions. So, I've been giving it the benefit of the doubt. How rare are those who are universally free of that? If only it was less rare, for daily life.

There's the continuation of the story. Seven parts. I want to know what happens next. I want to know what the rare good in the story will do, and how they will do it, to bring it back to "life". But maybe not now. Not right now.

I don't want to talk about Mulder. Mine. We've talked, sort of. Our way. I think I have some fever. A headache. And these demons punching from inside my stomach.